The highs and lows of an office tea club


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Jaqui and that’s Jacqui, not Jackie and definitely not Jacky, is the real queen of the kitchen.  She used to be the PA to one of the Directors, but then her Director lost her job in the last restructure and Jacqui became part of the general admin team.  She has had a chip on her shoulder ever since.  Very efficient and effective when she wants to be she is also abominably obstructive and lazy when she doesn’t.

Jacqui has an annual temper tantrum about the state of the kitchen at least every 3 months.  And today is one of those days.  The eruption occurred early this morning, when she couldn’t find any room in the fridge for the pancakes for the lunchtime pancake race.  Her massive bosom heaved as she emptied the fridge of its contents, binning everything not in date, and she became increasingly red in the face as everyone fled the scene, suddenly needing a “nice coffee from the café”.

The email followed, as we all knew it would, berating everyone for being so disgusting as to leave mouldy food in the fridge, dirty tea-cups in the sink, and overflowing and unwashed recycling in the corner.   The fact that we all know she is right (we work for a healthcare organisation after all), and the kitchen is truly disgusting at times, doesn’t stop us grumbling about being told off.

Just who the hell does she think she is?

athenamat / Food Photos / CC BY-NC

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