The highs and lows of an office tea club

She who runs the tea club

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Tea club 925 is operated by Jill; a well-dressed, glamorous granny with platinum blonde hair and a penchant for Debenham’s cruise wear.  She joined the organisation many years ago, and has survived countless reorganisations, mainly because no one is sure what she actually does.  What ever it is, she only does it on Wednesdays anyway as the rest of the week she is busy having lunch.

Kindly Jill, started work as a shorthand typist and isn’t keen on computers.  She has a basic grasp of word, as long as it doesn’t involve anything hard, like tables, and won’t touch excel.  This means that the tea club list, is carefully drawn with multi-coloured biro pens each month before being stuck up in the kitchen and covered in tippex.

Richard Cocks / Foter.com / CC BY

Fortunately Jill has mastered email, so long as someone else prepares the distribution list for her, and so having completed the herculean task of drawing up the month’s list, she is able to email her colleagues and ask for their subs.  Then she goes for lunch.

You may of course have spotted a tiny flaw in this system.  No sensible Tea-club would be run by someone who only works one day a week, and hasn’t got a clue who anyone in the office is anyway.  Nor will you be surprised to learn that Jill isn’t actually very good at collecting money.  Or buying tea.  Or coffee.  Or sugar…Oh you get the picture.

Nonetheless, the Tea club remains dear to Jill’s heart and she believes that this makes her important.  When new people are introduced to members of the team, most people say something like “I’m head of paperclips or widgets” or” I work for Bill who works for Ben” .  Not Jill. She proudly tells people that she runs the tea club.   Except that she doesn’t.  Jacqui does.


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